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 PICK UP LINES AND JOKES

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PostSubject: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeTue Aug 30, 2011 9:02 pm

POST NIYO DITO ANG PINAMALULUPET NYONG PICK-UP LINES AND JOKES PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 2771746323
PAGANDAHAN TAYO PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 198142303


know all kinds of chocolates are sweet..

but nothing can compare 2 d sweetness of my..

L I P S PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 2401695506

GOODBYE is the most painful
word to hear
but for me....
it's the best word ever
LIKE THIS:
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"GOODBYE class! you're dismissed"

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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeTue Aug 30, 2011 9:20 pm

The best quote for students out there:



"I'd rather open my Facebook. Than to FACE my BOOK
PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 3693673351

Pedro: Anong ulam niyo Juan?

Juan: Blanched green leafy veggie with crushed sweet tomato in sparkling salted seafood!!

Pedro: Wow!!!,sarap naman, ano yun?

Juan: Talbos ng kamote at bagoong na may pinisang kamatis. Kayo?

Pedro: Fish fillet de el niño!!

Juan: Sosyal, ano yun?

Pedro: Tuyo!!

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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeTue Aug 30, 2011 9:43 pm

Titser: Verb is an action word. Juan , give me an example.

Juan: 'went' ma'am

Titser: very good! use it in a sentence .
...
Juan: maria go went to town .

Titser: Wrong! Kung gagamit ka ng 'went' wala na yung 'go'

Juan: ma'am! ung 'go' po apelyedo yan ni Maria, intindihin mo kasing mabuti,ikaw umupo dito ako magtuturo !
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 4:17 am

iCECREAM KBA ? ? ? PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 3693673351




ANG SARAP MU KC DILAAN PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 2771746323
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 9:02 am

Simple lng ang buhay q PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 2525954108
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walang labis
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IKAW LANG ANG KULANG PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 4252194179



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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 11:32 am

Top 20 funny quotes

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.

[5] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[6] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

[7] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[8] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[9] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[10] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

[11] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

[12] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[13] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[14] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[15] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[16] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[17] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[18] It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[19] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[20] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 11:40 am

DIFFICULT REALITY:

"Waiting for the right one is never that EASY...

specially when the wrong one is so..
YUMMY!.."
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 11:43 am

di lahat ng Lasinggero ay gustong tikman ang lasa ng alak.

ung iba jan.

gustong tikman ang Lasa ng kainuman.
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 11:55 am

"pinapaikot mo lang ako

Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang

patayin mo nalang ako"

-electric fan


"hindi lahat ng walang salawal

ay bastos"

-winnie d' pooh


"Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad

kundi ang mapalapit sa iyo.

pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo"

-ipis


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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 11:56 am

"Hala! sige magpakasasa ka!

Alam ko namang katawan ko lang ang habol mo."

-hipon


"Ayoko na! pag nagmamahal ako lagi na lang

maraming tao ang nagagalit! wala ba akong

karapatang magmahal?!?"

-gasolina


"Hindi lahat ng green ay masustansya."

-plema
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 11:57 am

"Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sau

ayoko ko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao

ganun mo na lang ako itanggi.."

-utot


"Sawang sawa na ako palagi nalang akong

pinagpapasa-pasahan, pagod na pagod na ako."

-Bola


"you never know what you have

till you lose it.

and once you lose it, you can never get it back"

-snatcher
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 11:58 am

"Hindi lahat ng pink, KIKAY!"

-majinboo


"Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka

mahirap ba talagang makontento sa isa?

bakit palipat-lipat ka?

-TV


"hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin c"

-kili kili
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 12:00 pm

Sige, batihin mo ako.... Sigeee.....BATEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

-omelette


pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako!

-libag


Anung kasalanan ko sayo, iniwan m nalang akong duguan...

-Napkin


wag mo na akong bilugin.."

-kulangot
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 12:01 pm

Hindi lahat ng hinog, matamis...

-pigsa


Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?

-Lego


Punyetang Buhay to! Itlog itlog! Araw2 na lang itlog!

-Brief


Wala naman akong ginawa sa kanya! Hindi na nga ako gumalaw dito.

Ako n nga yun ntapakan, sya pa un galit.. bakit ganun?

-Tae
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 12:05 pm

Si Superman
Si Superman, Man Of Steel, ‘di ba?

Hindi tinatablan ng bala at kutsilyo… Bumabaluktot ang karayom sa kanya.

Eto ang tanong…

Tuli na kaya siya? Paano siya tutuliin?
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 12:08 pm

Lasing #1: "alam mo pare,kpag pulutan natin mani,naaalala ko misis ko.."

Lasing#2: "bakit pare,ganito ba kalaki mani ng misis mo?

Lasing#1: "hndi pare,..Ganito ka-OiLy at kaalat mani ng misis ko..!

Lasing#2:"pare, "palitan nlang natin pulutan natin,order nlang tyo ng hotdog..."

Lasing#1: "Hwag hotdog pare!!mas marami akong naaalala... nung nasa bilanggu-an ako noon.."
PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 2478145274

Mrs:Ang sarap mo talagang kumain hon...

Mr: uu naman hon ..wag u alala ikaw lang kakainin ko

Mrs: Gago hindi un ibig ko sabihin ! ang lakas laks mong lumamon! mag trabaho ka! tamad!
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 12:09 pm

*An apple a day... makes efren bata reyes and ronnie alcano cry
everyday.(they have NO TEETH)
*Aanhin pa ang damo, kung patay na c diego.
*Kapag maiksi ang kumot.. mura lang.
*Papunta ka pa lang... cge ingat!
*Ang taong naglalakad nang mabagal, tumatakas
*Kapag may usok, may mamamatay na lamok.
*Walang matiyagang lalake.. na manligaw sa mukhang binabae.
*Kung walang magpapaloko... hindi tatakbo si gloria arroyo.
*Ang taong mainggitin, panget.
*Behind the clouds, are airplanes.
*Ang sakit ng kalingkingan, dapat ipatingin sa doktor.
*Pag may usok... bka nsa langit kana!
*Magkulang ka na sa magulang... huwag lang magkulang sa tubig habang
naghihilamos.
*Kapag bukas ang kaban, nakalimutang takpan.
*Kapag ang ilog ay tahimik, walang nagsi-swimming.
*When all else fails... buti nga bhelat!
*Sa larangan ng digmaan.. nakikilala kung sino ang bading.
*An apple a day... makes the fruit vendor rich.
*Pag may usok, mas maganda ang show dahil may special effects.
*Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan sana mga kagalit
*Ang taong naglalakad nang mabagal... may paltos.
*Papunta ka pa lang, ako rin sabay na tayo!
*Ang taong naglalakad nang mabagal, nasa moon.
*Habang may buhay... txt tayo!
*Kung pukulin ka ng bato.. tinapay ang iganti mo, na may lason!
*Ako ang nagtanim, ang nagbayo at nagsaing,
saka nang maluto'y iba ang kumain.. bwisit na pusa yan. amf!
*Huwag magbilang ng manok, kung duling.
*Better late.. than never txting!
*Kapag maiksi ang kumot... sa baby ipagamit.
*Kapag ang puno mabunga... maraming mapipitas.
*Magkulang ka na sa magulang... huwag lang sa pagiisip!
*Ang taong naglalakad nang mabagal, may rayuma!
*Ang iyong kakainin, sa kaldero manggagaling.
*Tell me who your friends are... and ill tell you who is cute!=)
*Ang taong naglalakad nang mabagal.. matanda na.
*If you cant beat them... i2yak mo nalang.
*Ang iyong kakainin, itatae mo rin.
*Magbiro kana sa lasing.. wag lng s matsing, dka mage2ts non!
*Ang taong naglalakad nang mabagal, nagtetext.
*Ang taong ngigipit.. lahat ng pwedeng utangan kinukulit.
*Kapag maiksi ang kumot... cute.
*Pag may usok.. kawawa ang may hika!
*Ang taong naglalakad nang mabagal.. bagong tuli.
*Ang taong naglalakad ng matulin... magling sa walkathon.
*Ang taong hindi marunong lumingon sa kanyang pinanggalingan... adik sa
text.
*Laging nasa huli, ang pinakamatangkad.
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 12:13 pm

TEACHER: Lahat tayo nagmula kay adan at eva

STUDENT: Mam, hndi yan 220.. Sbi ng tatay nagmula daw tayo sa unggoy!

TEACHER: iho, hindi natin pinag-uusapan d2 pamilya mo!


Week-end Pass
Sa Kampo ng Army, gustong humingi ng week-end pass ang Sarhento dahil malapit ng manganak ang asawa niya. Gusto niyang nasa bahay pag oras na ng panganganak. Pumayag naman ang mabagsik na Major.

Sa Kabilang kwarto, nakikinig pala ang wais na Kabo. Pumunta siya sa opisina ng Major para mag paalam din.

Kabo: "Sir, Major", gusto ko rin humingi ng week-end pass."
Major: "Corporal, ano naman ang reason mo para bigyan kita ng pass?" "Alam ko, hindi pa naman buntis ang asawa mo."
Kabo: "Sir, Major, huwag kayong mag alala dahil sa liggong ito, siguradong buntis din ang Misis ko!"


Salawikain
Aanhin mo ang marangyang kama na yari sa narra, kung hindi ka naman masaya sa iyong kasama.
Mabuti pang mahiga sa damo, kung kasama mo'y magaling kumabayo.....Uumm Sarrapp!


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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeWed Aug 31, 2011 12:15 pm

Tagalog pickup lines !

miss sana aso nalang kita
para ikaw lang ang nag babantay
ng puso ko

girl : mag mula ngaun magbbyad kna ng renta sakin ah..
boy : bakit nmn?
girl : kasi dto kna maninirahan sa puso ko..

alam mo para lang saranggola..
kasi kahit gaano ka kalayo sakin hawak parin kita...

boy: may shades kaba?
girl: bakit?
boy: kasi nasisilaw ako sayong mga ngiti...

iz dat da sUn c0ming up??
0R...
iz dat juz YOU ligthing up my wOrLd!!

"; dAti aNg dAmi kOng paNgarAp..
;nGayOn, IKAW naLang... U "

boy: pinapasabi ni eddie mahal ka nya
girl: cnong eddie?
boy: eddie ako, =]

Alarm clock ka ba? ginising mo kasi ang natutulog kong puso.

Aanhin pa ang gravity? kung lagi akong nahuhulog sa'yo.

kung gagawa ako ng alak pangalan mo ang gagamitin ko. kasi ang lakas mo sumipa kaso sa puso ang tama.

tok! tok! tok! Pwede ba akong pumasok sa buhay mo?

Miss! langit na ba to? para ka kasing anghel.

Redhorse ka ba? ang lakas kasi ng tama ko sayo eh

Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard? type kasi kita eh

alam mo bang exam ako? kaya sagutin mo na ko

Uy! papicture naman tayo oh? para madevelop tayo sa isa't isa.

Surgeon ka ba? kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng puso ko.

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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeThu Sep 01, 2011 5:44 am

Bata:pangit! Pangit! Pangit! Pangit!

lalake: sabhn mu pa ulit ako ng pangit papatayn kta!


nxt day...



bata:pssst!
lalake:ano?
bata:alam mu na!

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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeThu Sep 01, 2011 9:25 pm

PARA KANG TEST PAPER PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 1392140456
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NAUUBOS ANG ORAS KO KAKATITIG SAYO PICK UP LINES AND JOKES 4252194179
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeThu Sep 01, 2011 9:26 pm

Para kang Chinese Style Fried Chicken ng Chowking..
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“Mahigit Dalawang Milyon na ang Nakakatikim.”
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeThu Sep 01, 2011 9:27 pm

sabi ng mga scientist almost 60,000 daw ang naiisip ng isang tao sa isang araw,
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edi abnormal pala ako kasi IKAW LANG ang naiisip ko
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeThu Sep 01, 2011 9:30 pm

Ang PAG-IBIG parang Plants VS. Zombies lang yan.

BINAKURAN mo na nga,

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inaASWANG pa ng iba.
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PostSubject: Re: PICK UP LINES AND JOKES   PICK UP LINES AND JOKES Icon_minitimeThu Sep 01, 2011 9:37 pm

B: May gusto ka ba sakin?
G: Wla
B: Ouch!
(Napaiyak ang B)

1ST BLOOD!

G: Oh bkt ka umiiyak?
B: Wla ka kasing gusto sakin eh
G: Hndi mo naman ksi natanong kung mahal kita
B: Mhal mo ba ako?
G: Hndi rin.

DOUBLE KILL!

B: Ang sakit mo naman magsalita
G: My Boyfriend na kasi ako eh.

KILLING SPREE!

B: Cnu ba Boyfriend mo?
G: Bestfriend mo.

MONSTER KILL!!


B: kahit na.. maghihintay pa rin ako sayo.
G: mag papakasal na kami...


B: di ka pa naman kasal pwede pa bawiin...
G: buntis na ako!
B: aw.. gg.

beyond GODLIKE!!! Somebody kill him!!
WICKED SICK!!!
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